The Shame Epidemic..Pt 1

We’ve all been there and done something at some point that has caused us shame and humiliation.

 Whether it was tripping and falling in front of everyone, being rejected by a guy you liked, or not getting an invitation to an event whilst your friends did.

 I remember a day when I failed a professional exam and had to go back and tell my manager that I had failed, AGAIN. See the thing is, it was my third time failing this particular paper and I was just so embarrassed to go and say I had failed again.

In my head, I might as well have told her, I’m not good enough to be on this graduate scheme, please sack me lol.

 A bit dramatic, I know, but ask yourself this, What stories do you tell yourself when you’ve had a shameful experience?

I felt ashamed at the above experience but to be honest I got over it a few weeks later.

What happens we the shame we feel goes deeper than this? You know, the kind of shame that is wrapped around our identity?

The shame we feel because of the struggles we hide?

The shame we feel because we don’t think we measure up?

The shame we feel about our addictions?

The shame we feel about our traumatic past?

The shame we feel about our body imperfections and other insecurities?

Some of us have come from families where we experienced a traumatic event and instead of talking about it, we are encouraged to pretend like it never happened and carry on like everything is fine. Shame.

 How can we show up authentically if there are parts of ourselves we are always trying to hide?

 How do we cultivate loving relationships if there are parts of ourselves we don’t love?

The thing is, shame is something we all struggle with. People who don’t struggle with shame are either very good at hiding it or have done the healing work and know how to deal with this demon.

Yes demon, I call shame a demon because it strives in darkness…

 And what else do we find in the darkness? Fear

 The enemy will do everything in his power to keep us in darkness, and the longer we sit in shame, the more power we give to shame and its companions like rejection, fear, and pride.

So how should we deal with our shame struggles?

1. Pull it out of the darkness into the light of God’s love. John 1:5 says the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it. Satan works best by keeping you in darkness and isolation. His power over you is broken once we surrender and bring our brokenness before God.

2. Invite God to heal you of the pain that causes you to hide in shame. Under the light of God’s love, there is no fear and condemnation for those in Christ.

3. Cultivate genuine friendships that create the space for healthy conversations about your struggles and shame triggers without the fear of judgement.

4. Therapy is never a bad option.